re497: Who Am I to Call Myself a Writer?

[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to Utrecht. [00:00:05] Speaker B: Hello. [00:00:06] Speaker A: Hello. [00:00:08] Speaker B: The startup is always fun. [00:00:09] Speaker A: I know. It's early 2026 and it's Thursday and I'm here with Susan Defriend. [00:00:14] Speaker B: Hello. [00:00:15] Speaker A: And hi, Susan. [00:00:16] Speaker B: Hi. Hi, Bradley. We haven't seen each other in a while. [00:00:19] Speaker A: Yes. I've been gone for two and a half months in the States and it's been a big transition and we have new beginnings, new starts to the year. We're going to talk about some. About. About that a bit and how I. It's new year. I want to hold true to my tagline of repossible of who will you be next? [00:00:41] Speaker B: Nice. [00:00:42] Speaker A: And how we can change as people. We can change in big ways or small ways. And it's up to us. And it usually comes down to habits. And you were just talking, Susan, about some changes that you're looking forward to for this year. Yeah, so we're having a chat about that. So welcome. We are consciously not on camera, mostly because I just don't feel like it. [00:01:02] Speaker B: Me too. [00:01:03] Speaker A: And eat it as Susan. And we're gonna give you. So this is. We are in the Hoog Katerein. It's the. I think it's the oldest shopping mall in Utrecht. [00:01:15] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:01:15] Speaker A: Or in the Netherlands. I think it was the first one. It was built in the 70s. It was super ugly. And they redid it recently. And actually under the water. If you're watching this on YouTube, under the water is actually the canal. Canal. [00:01:30] Speaker B: So there's a little history there of that canal that used to be routed in the 60s. Was routed in a different part. [00:01:37] Speaker A: That's right. [00:01:38] Speaker B: And then the city was like, it's ugly. Let's bring it back. And so they brought it back to where it originally was. They did this inside the mall to commemorate that it's back in its original place. It's so interesting how the Dutch can do that with water. [00:01:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:56] Speaker B: Like amazing water engineers. [00:01:59] Speaker A: So was that 70s or something that had a. There was a highway under. [00:02:03] Speaker B: Yeah, 60s or 70s, something like that. And I don't know. There was a big push to change it. And so when I moved here in 2009, where we're sitting did not exist. It was a road. Oh yeah. They really redid this whole space. This building didn't exist the way it does right now. [00:02:25] Speaker A: It's gorgeous. I'm not a huge mall fan, but. [00:02:29] Speaker B: They did this food court. So it has a little American appeal. [00:02:33] Speaker A: We just had salsa shop. [00:02:34] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Sorry. Can't help it. It's so good. [00:02:38] Speaker A: I have had tacos for the past two and a half months here. I'm going to move the video over there just to show you. Salsa Shop. There it is. There are actual burritos and tacos. I know, it's amazing. If you live in the US you don't understand the lack thereof. [00:02:54] Speaker B: Yeah, they brought that back here. [00:02:56] Speaker A: Susan and I were both born in the US and we miss our Mexican food. [00:03:00] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:03:00] Speaker A: Although Salsa Shop is pretty good. [00:03:02] Speaker B: Really good. Yeah. [00:03:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:04] Speaker B: I feel like it's top notch. I mean, okay, there's levels, but when you have access to it all the time in the US then you kind of get used to it. But here, I don't know. [00:03:16] Speaker A: I have 4,000 thoughts going through my mind right now. One of them was what kind of a massive change it was for the Dutch government to change a highway into a canal. [00:03:27] Speaker B: Right. [00:03:28] Speaker A: And how that took, I think, literally decades. [00:03:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:31] Speaker A: So there is big change that can take a long time. [00:03:34] Speaker B: Right. [00:03:35] Speaker A: But it happened. Or I shouldn't say, but I should be a good improv player and say, and it happened. And so Susan and I are here. Susan and I, as I said, we were both born in the US and we both live in the Netherlands. Speaking of Utrecht, where we are right now, we both live outside of this gorgeous town. [00:03:53] Speaker B: Yeah, it's beautiful. [00:03:55] Speaker A: If you're listening to this and you're thinking, wow, Bradley and Susan, that's great for you. You guys live in Europe and I live in some other place where I would love to move or I live in a country where I'm not totally thrilled about the politics at the moment or I haven't been for a long time. I won't name any countries whatsoever. Won't be specific. You know who you are, but. And you think that is a huge undertaking and a massive transformation and a giant change. I could never do that. [00:04:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:29] Speaker A: Well, how do you get started about that? I mean, I don't want to turn this into a how to move abroad. [00:04:34] Speaker B: Talk, but I know it's. [00:04:36] Speaker A: Susan and I did it. [00:04:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I know it's on a lot of people's minds. [00:04:39] Speaker A: It is. [00:04:41] Speaker B: And there's ways. I mean, we have partners who happen to be Dutch. That's part of our. [00:04:46] Speaker A: Which is a huge element of it. Okay. But I met mine in the Netherlands. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:53] Speaker A: Did you met. Oh, he did. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:55] Speaker A: Here I thought it was. Oh, okay. I had it turned around. That's right. And then he went back with you for a while? No, but to visit. Well, at least a visit. But not. Okay, but never there. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Our Relationship was mostly over here, so. [00:05:10] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:10] Speaker B: We've never lived in the U.S. okay. [00:05:12] Speaker A: But how did that instigate. By you coming over here. You didn't sit around in Michigan and wait to meet the Dutch guy. [00:05:19] Speaker B: Well, in quick, because, I mean, that could be its own little podcast people. We met because our parents. Our. Our friends got married. Excuse me? Our friends got married, and we were the witnesses of their wedding. And then things just kind of moved fast. I was living back at home in Michigan, and I was working for a big company, and then they decided, how nice is this? Because I came here on Thanksgiving, went back two weeks later, went back home, and a week or two before Christmas, they did a bunch of layoffs. Oh, nice. [00:05:55] Speaker A: And you got laid off. [00:05:55] Speaker B: Yes. [00:05:56] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:05:57] Speaker B: And so then he invited me to come back. I was like, well, I have nothing to lose. I didn't even want to go that. That week. At the beginning of the week, I didn't want to go. I'm like, it's just a temp job. They don't need me. [00:06:06] Speaker A: Right, right. [00:06:07] Speaker B: And he's like, no, you better go back. You have a job. And then at the end of the week, I was in this big room of people, and we all lost our jobs. And people were shocked. And I was like, when I landed, my parents were like, there's news articles already that this might happen. And I'm like, why did I get on the damn plane? That was my only. You know, it was a nice job, don't get me wrong. But I was looking for change too. That kind of change was kind of fortunate, you know. [00:06:37] Speaker A: Okay, so you were looking for change. You were open. You opened the door. [00:06:42] Speaker B: I opened them because I was living at home and I was having a hard time getting out of the house. Like, I was kind of stuck with these little jobs, and I had outgrown my hometown a long time ago, so it was really only supposed to be, like, a stop point to the next thing. And I was in my mid-30s, and then. Yeah. I won't lie, though. Even with love and everything, it was still very scary. Yeah. Love does a lot of things. [00:07:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:14] Speaker B: But we had no idea what we were, you know, gonna navigate together. Yeah, it's definitely easy in one respect here in Holland is that we can live here for three months to trial run it. Right. Because of the. [00:07:31] Speaker A: Visa wise. Yes. [00:07:33] Speaker B: An American with a passport can stay here for three months, no problem. [00:07:36] Speaker A: Right. [00:07:37] Speaker B: Then after that is where it starts to get a little, you know, paperwork and bureaucracy, but. And also, quick plug for the Netherlands. For people who are thinking about it, look into Daft D, A F T. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Daft American Friendship Treaty. [00:07:54] Speaker B: And that can get you a ticket over here if you are self employed. So, yeah, which I have a lot of friends who have done that. [00:08:01] Speaker A: I do too. And it actually works. And it's definitely a way away. [00:08:07] Speaker B: You don't have to find a Dutch person. [00:08:08] Speaker A: You don't have to marry a Dutch person. Although it's an easy. An easier route probably. But if you find love, you got to find love. [00:08:18] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, you gotta. You gotta find love. Okay, this could be a totally different podcast. I'm feeling like. What was that movie that came out years ago with Andy McDowell and Gerard Depadieu? [00:08:29] Speaker A: Oh, the, the green card one. [00:08:31] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:31] Speaker A: It might have even been called Green Card. [00:08:33] Speaker B: It was called Green Card. And I'm like, oh, yeah, so. So we're not suggesting these kind of arrangements. [00:08:38] Speaker A: We are not, we are not proposing. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Find yourself dragged into legal green card manipulation. But yes. So the key was I was looking for my next step, but I also find myself to be the kind of person that's open and spontaneous to adventure. I've lived in Paris, I've lived in D.C. i've lived in Chicago all through opportunity. [00:09:06] Speaker A: And you just dropped Paris in there, by the way. So you had lived in Europe. Paris. Excuse me. [00:09:12] Speaker B: That's why I could say die peu, dieu. I know je peux parlez fronte, but so can you, right? Yeah, that's funny. [00:09:22] Speaker A: Je peut. Ok. [00:09:24] Speaker B: I lived in Paris for a semester for school, and then years before that I was like, I was an au pair for a couple of years for, for a family in Normandy. [00:09:34] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:09:35] Speaker B: And that started when I was 18. [00:09:36] Speaker A: Okay, so you had the, the international bug. [00:09:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:39] Speaker A: You've had it. [00:09:40] Speaker B: I knew what it was about for a long time. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:42] Speaker B: And then there was a stretch where, yeah, I always needed to go to Europe when I was younger. Like, I always needed to go get like my fill and then I'd be fine. And I never really knew how to get back over and live here. [00:09:56] Speaker A: Okay, wow. [00:09:58] Speaker B: So it is all kismet in my story. But. And I'm. Oh, by the way, I've been with my husband for 16 years. It was no green card. And also, you don't have to get married here in the Netherlands. [00:10:10] Speaker A: That's right. [00:10:11] Speaker B: You can have a legalized partnership. [00:10:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Very progressive country. [00:10:15] Speaker B: Very, very, very. [00:10:16] Speaker A: Yes, they do many things right is for sure. As I'm realizing as I'm back after two and a half months in the usa, where we literally. They wanted to send a fax and they wanted a paper check for something and we needed a cashier's check that we had to get at the bank. [00:10:32] Speaker B: But we had to walk in the. [00:10:33] Speaker A: US Talk to a teller. [00:10:34] Speaker B: Oh, Because Bradley, you were setting up your son in Texas. [00:10:38] Speaker A: Right. [00:10:38] Speaker B: Okay. Just. Let's tell the people what's going on. [00:10:40] Speaker A: I know. [00:10:41] Speaker B: So. So what's that like? [00:10:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:44] Speaker B: So you. So wait, I want to say this to the audience who's listening? Bradley, you and Saskia, your wife lived in California for a while. [00:10:53] Speaker A: 17 years. [00:10:54] Speaker B: And then you moved here to 10 years ago. Moved back here with two small kids. [00:11:00] Speaker A: Yeah. 10 year old and a 12 year old. [00:11:03] Speaker B: And now those two are. [00:11:05] Speaker A: I know. Now they're grown up. They're 19 and 22 and so. Oh my God. About to be 20 and 22. Wow. Oh my God. I almost don't have teenagers anymore. [00:11:15] Speaker B: You have a young adult men. So you went over to move your son back to the U.S. yes. Which is such an interesting. Like I would love to talk to him because he's lived on both sides as a, as a kid and he's both nationalities. [00:11:34] Speaker A: Yeah. So two passports. Speaking of like legal challenges. He does have two passports. So do I. So my whole family. So that pretty much my whole family. [00:11:44] Speaker B: My husband doesn't have it because we have to live in the US in order for him to get one. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Right, Right. [00:11:49] Speaker B: We're not going to do that anytime soon. [00:11:51] Speaker A: Wouldn't recommend it. [00:11:53] Speaker B: Life is good here. [00:11:54] Speaker A: It is. Life is really good here. I know. [00:11:57] Speaker B: So anyway, you got back after two and a half months, shuffling off the sun. [00:12:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Dealing with administration and paperwork and stuff. Yeah. And my son, it's fine because he didn't even understand half this stuff. He's like, what's a paper check? [00:12:12] Speaker B: Oh, gosh. [00:12:13] Speaker A: You know, we have to go to the bank, we have to walk inside. Yeah. And we have to talk to a teller. Huh. And they're going to give us a piece of paper and that has money on it. I know, it was so weird. [00:12:25] Speaker B: Checks. They still do checks. [00:12:26] Speaker A: They still do checks. Same in France. Backwards. [00:12:29] Speaker B: France still does checks too, I think. [00:12:31] Speaker A: Do they? [00:12:32] Speaker B: Last I checked. [00:12:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:34] Speaker B: What do I know? But there's. [00:12:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:36] Speaker B: The banking system in the US is quite a different thing. [00:12:38] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, I just thought of something that will help sort of shed some light on this, why this is such a big moment for me at the moment. [00:12:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:47] Speaker A: And that's because of these two kids. These two kids of mine, those Two kids. Oh yeah, they're mine. Who are now out of the house. [00:12:57] Speaker B: Yeah. What a huge transition. [00:12:58] Speaker A: It's a huge transition. And this is a little bit where, you know. Yeah. Where you make. I think there's often like a third party or an action that happens that you do a reaction to that initial action. And unfortunately that initial action is often bad. Like for example, 11 years ago, my dad passed away. [00:13:28] Speaker B: Oh. [00:13:28] Speaker A: And then I. Thanks. And my. I was not happy in San Francisco. I was sick of keeping up with the Joneses crime and blah. And I wanted my kids to have part of their upbringing in Europe. And so it was a major undertaking. But it was then or never. And I really think it was. So it took a negative thing, my dad passing away to launch this thing into action. And now that I just sent my boy off to the US and my other son is studying in the Hague, in the Netherlands, so they're out of the house. And now that action is causing a reaction in me. I'm an empty nester now since four days. Four days now. Fresh people. It is fresh. I know. And I gotta tell you, I am freaking. I am freaking out. It is. I almost don't know what to do. It's kind of weird. And I know this isn't really a secret, but my wife and I are planning on moving to southern Italy at the end of 2026 or early 2027. So within the end this year. And that's part partly a reaction to an action. [00:14:43] Speaker B: Right. [00:14:44] Speaker A: And I could stay here and I could make it work and everything. But I often write about cats and how cats have nine lives and we only have one. And this is part of my whole sort of philosophy of who will you be next? Yeah, it's a little bit like the cat. Which life? Okay, you're on life number four. Which life do you want that to be now? Oh, no. I'm going to be the alley cat. Now I'm going to be the sit at home cat. [00:15:07] Speaker B: Oh. Gotcha. [00:15:07] Speaker A: And so now I'm going to be the Italian cat. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Meow, meow, meow, meow. [00:15:14] Speaker A: And so, because if I don't do that, we humans only have one life. And so we have to make that life. We have to chop it up as little or as much as we want to. And for me, I've been, now, this is our 10th year here and it's time to go. [00:15:30] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm feeling this. [00:15:31] Speaker A: If it weren't for the kids being the empty nest things, I'd probably just keep doing same old, same Old. But because of that, my house is so empty right now. It's just my wife and I and Pepper, who is much more famous than I am on my YouTube channel, I hate to say. And so we feel like let's take that momentum from that big change to create the next change, which is such. [00:16:01] Speaker B: A cool way of looking at it, because empty nesters may not always have the opportunity to make those changes. And I think the catalyst of your son stepping into their next chapter is an invitation for you to do that. Where some people are like, well, I'm just gonna settle here because I'm used to it. Which, you know, you buy a house, you got a mortgage, there's reasons, you've got a job. [00:16:32] Speaker A: And these are all real things. [00:16:35] Speaker B: These are real things. But you don't need to be in that district anymore for the school. You can. You know, you're right. I don't know. It's. Unless you really love your house, you don't have to stay rooted. Or maybe you have enough equity. Maybe you can travel and come back to your house. Who knows? [00:16:52] Speaker A: Right. [00:16:52] Speaker B: But I think what's great that you two are doing is you're just taking a situation and going now. It's time for us to explore and have an adventure. [00:17:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:01] Speaker B: And, you know, check out Italy. Why not? Sounds great. [00:17:05] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it's a little why not? And also, you know, you and I are. You know, I don't like to talk about age a whole lot on this podcast and YouTube channel, because with the. With my tagline of who will you be next? [00:17:20] Speaker B: Right. [00:17:21] Speaker A: That might be 23, 33, 43, 53. Right. [00:17:24] Speaker B: It's good. And 63. [00:17:26] Speaker A: And so I don't like to bring age into it, but it's time for our next adventure. [00:17:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:34] Speaker A: I'm ready. I'm ready. [00:17:36] Speaker B: That's nice. [00:17:37] Speaker A: No, Susan, you. A year ago, we were sort of in opposite chairs here, and you had just returned after also, like two and a half. Three months. Three months. [00:17:46] Speaker B: Three months. 3 months in the U.S. similarly, though, what you had mentioned. Well, not similarly. I lost my dad. [00:17:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:55] Speaker B: And I went home. Thank you. It's still kind of fresh, but I went home to. You know, he was suffering with the disease of Parkinson's and dementia, so we lost him mentally in a certain way. Like, he didn't recognize us or time. Sometimes he would. And that's a. That's a hard thing to go through. Like, it's hard to lose people. Yeah, that's also hard. But three months there, I was so glad I was Able to do that because years ago, when I first had my daughter, you know how it comes up where you can have. You can have the option to do a permanent residency or become a Dutch citizen. And I was kind of on the fence, and then we realized you might as well just get your citizenship, which means you get passport. Well, that's a very fortunate choice that I made because the fact that I was home for three months would have made my permanent residency reset. [00:18:56] Speaker A: Oh, really? [00:18:57] Speaker B: Yeah. So I would have had to go through the whole process again. [00:19:00] Speaker A: No, I didn't know that. [00:19:01] Speaker B: Yeah. But by being a citizen, obviously, I never have to worry about that stuff again, so. And also, I can vote in this country. I am a citizen, so I get a pension. I get all of the, you know, the things. And I. You know, there was a minute where I was like, well, I don't know if I'll need this. But then also, what if my husband dies? Do I have to go back to the U.S. like, there's all these little things. So we realized that way before I actually did the three months, but I actually ended up staying for three months. [00:19:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:33] Speaker B: I mean, I went over three months. [00:19:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:36] Speaker B: So it's a lot. But I wanted to point out, I'm going through that point of reaction of, who will you be next? With the passing of my dad, and the last year was a lot of recovery. I had health issues and I had to let clients go. I was burnt out from caregiving, and not just my dad, but being in the middle of the whole family thing, and. Which is weird in your, you know, early 50s to be all of a sudden living in your home with your siblings. Like, it was a weird event. [00:20:13] Speaker A: That's a lot. [00:20:14] Speaker B: And it was also comforting. But, yeah, you realize a lot of stuff about your childhood when you lose a parent, and then you also reignite things. And. Yeah. I've been thinking about what's next. I do love being a coach, and I have a client now. I love coaching. They'll always be a part of me, but I'm starting to realize other parts of me that I haven't really fully explored. And I'm there, too. [00:20:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:42] Speaker B: You and I have always been talking about. We have very similar paths and interests. [00:20:48] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. So what are you able to call yourself now that's ideal for you? [00:20:57] Speaker B: I'm moving into being a writer, and I'd like to be a published author by the end of the year. [00:21:02] Speaker A: Wow. [00:21:03] Speaker B: And that is something Bradley and I have talked about for ages. Because you've written how many books. [00:21:09] Speaker A: 40 now. [00:21:09] Speaker B: 40, yeah. Nice number. And you're a book coach, and you've certainly helped me. [00:21:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:16] Speaker B: There was always something in the way for me, and I'm not over it. I'm just going to be with it. Because anything that you want in life, you kind of have to face those fears. And it doesn't matter what it is. Who am I to call myself a writer, you know? [00:21:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:33] Speaker B: Well, I wrote a email the other day. Does that make me a writer? You know what I mean? Like, people can minimize anything. [00:21:40] Speaker A: I know the dilemma. [00:21:41] Speaker B: And, no, I'm not gonna be like Hemingway or something like that. But I have a story to tell. I feel everybody does, and I want to share it and for nothing else for me to see it. Do you know what I mean? I know too many people around me. You, of course. And a mutual friend of ours keeps pumping out books, and they're really inspiring books. Just feels like it's all around me, and it just kept coming, and that's what interests me. And I noticed when I moved here. I don't know if I ever told you this. Probably I have. At one point, I didn't have any kind of community. There was no real Facebook group stuff yet. It was 2009. Facebook was still pretty young, and it's not like me to not get out of the house and do things and meet people. And it was really hard to get a job without the visa put in place yet. So there was a thing that's global called NaNoWriMo, and actually have a friend who's connected to the group of guys who started it in California. And it was just this idea in November to write a book. Right. [00:22:53] Speaker A: National Novel Writing Month. [00:22:55] Speaker B: And it's no longer. And there's a lot of. [00:22:57] Speaker A: It's no longer. [00:22:58] Speaker B: No, there's a lot of stuff around, Dan. [00:23:01] Speaker A: Seriously. [00:23:01] Speaker B: I found out from another writer friend. [00:23:04] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't know that. [00:23:05] Speaker B: We'll sideline that for another time. But it's no longer happening, which is sad. And I just found out recently, so I have a friend who runs her own type of thing in November because it is a great month to write. It's winery. It's everybody's. You know, you got 30 days, which is a good sprint for a book. I loved the creative process of that. It was so. But anyway, I looked around for local meetups, and that was the very first thing I ever did in Utrecht. [00:23:37] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:23:38] Speaker B: I was the very first foreigner to ever show up, too. No one knew what to do with me. And I can only say so many words in Dutch. And this is what I said. Hoi ik ben Susan. And they all looked at me and then went back to talking to each other. And it was like, it's gonna be a rough crowd. And I was, like, really excited. I rode my bike through the city. I got there in time, and it was at the Florin. [00:24:02] Speaker A: No way. [00:24:04] Speaker B: And I made really good friends. And from then on, I joined a writers group and would go up to Dunhaag to the ABC clubhouse thing once a month. So writing has always been in the background. It's never been. Not in my life. I just found my diary from 1981 and brought it back home. It's hilarious because in 1981, I didn't know how to write. [00:24:29] Speaker A: Yes. [00:24:30] Speaker B: Like, very phonetically. Like, how old was I? Maybe seven. And it goes to 1986. I've read a few. A few entries to my daughter, and we'll just. We sit there laughing. But I just realized that's how I've always worked through things, journaling and writing. But I've always wanted to do something bigger and. [00:24:57] Speaker A: Okay, so what was the catalyst? What was the change? How did this. Because you. I don't think you've ever. I've known you for several years. I don't think I've ever heard you say, I am a writer. [00:25:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:08] Speaker A: And you just did today for the first time. [00:25:09] Speaker B: I know. [00:25:10] Speaker A: I think so. [00:25:10] Speaker B: It's a big deal. [00:25:11] Speaker A: It is a big deal. And what. How did that. What happened? Is it January? Is it. [00:25:17] Speaker B: You know, like I said, I've been doing a lot of reflection of my life and where I always. So I've always wanted to be a comedian, and that's still on the list for sure. But I don't. I like the written word. I like how people can express through that. And I'm always. I admire those people and what they. So that's why it feels big, because I have this big thing around it. And then, of course, the. Who am I? But what changed? I just. I went to a new platform recently, Substack, which is filled with writers left and right. All kinds of businesses are there, but it's a blogging platform, and so it's in the air. I don't really know the moment. I think it's just something that I was getting a lot of joy and excitement, and I kept attracting people in my life and have for years. [00:26:17] Speaker A: You? [00:26:17] Speaker B: My friend Barbara. Our friend Barbara Nicholeen. [00:26:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:21] Speaker B: I've done your writing workshops. I've always wanted to go on a Writing workshop, that's a retreat for a week. Always wanted to do these things, I think I just never wanted to own this part of my song. And I. Why not? Yeah, what is the big deal? I have a sister who's in, who was a professor of creative writing. My mother is an excellent writer. I guess I just feel like it's gotta be a certain thing. Yeah, I'm kind of working through that while I write. [00:26:53] Speaker A: But that's a biggie, you know, it's similar to, I think, you know, often American friends will say, oh, you live in Europe. Oh, do you know, do you have your French dinner on the Eiffel Tower with your glass of red wine? Right, of course. Yeah, of course. That's my everyday, normal life. Cause you have this sort of picture postcard perfection of life as a writer. And for me, it's always, you're by a lake, you're sitting on the balcony with your laptop and your hot cup of tea steaming just the right temperature, and the sun is setting and you're finishing your greatest American novel. And if it's not that, then you're not a success. [00:27:30] Speaker B: Exactly. And I think with the advent of the digital age and self publishing. Yeah, it's not nothing. It is so NaNoWriMo showed me the creative writing process, but it also showed me in the very beginning stages, there were books that came out of that 30 day thing, and that one book in particular became a movie. Water for Elephants was written during Nano Nimo. And I think the editing process is what scares me. [00:28:04] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:28:05] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't think I'll query a book yet. That's a whole nother level, but I'm willing to move towards it. So I've been starting to create a community. I'm doing a podcast where I'm interviewing. I'm making it in my ecosphere. So it becomes more me. [00:28:27] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. It's how I'm a regular part of your daily stuff or your regular stuff. [00:28:32] Speaker B: To be fair, I have a book ready to publish that I wrote through one of your courses. And it's a cute book and it's not bad or anything. I think I will publish that one. But there's a bigger, deeper book and I think it's also there. [00:28:47] Speaker A: That's why it's scary, because that's the big, awesome, amazing, perfect masterpiece. All that stuff. Vulnerable, just like, sort of when is the perfect time to. Oh, then I'm gonna keep talking about moving to Europe, but, oh, well, let me let the kids graduate from high school. First and then let me retire from my job first and then let me xyz. But it's usually, oh, let me get leukemia first. And then. Sorry, but reality. And then. And let me. My kid moves to Istanbul. Yeah, whatever. It's wild. It's these big things that are usually outside of your hands that. That force your hand, and then you have to go play catch up. [00:29:27] Speaker B: So what would you say to somebody if they're flirting with an idea? Like, you know, I could have called myself a writer 15 years ago. You know, it's not like something new for me. I wanted to say that. Always been in the background. I'm just turning the volume up and claiming it. I wonder how other people arrive to be. Who will you be next? So to speak. Like, how did they see it? Because, like, you pointed. [00:29:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:54] Speaker B: There is the catalyst of bad news. [00:29:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:57] Speaker B: And then there's the catalyst of, I mean, not so bad news, but like kicking the pants, you know, or whatever, you know, is there. I mean, how are you with that idea? [00:30:07] Speaker A: Well, because it's hard. It's hard. I think I'm a very go get him kind of guy. [00:30:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:13] Speaker A: But even with that, I need that kick in the pants. [00:30:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:18] Speaker A: I do. To get stuff done. Just like now. I need. My wife has wanted to move to Italy for years, but now it's the. Okay, the kids are gone. That's a huge thing. So it's not now or never, but why not now? And of course, there's other things, like reality mortgages and jobs and dogs and all the real stuff, but it's all doable. [00:30:44] Speaker B: Right. And I was just thinking to myself, like, you know, there was this old way of thinking of the family home, a place to have the kids come back. [00:30:55] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:30:56] Speaker B: Is that even realistic these days? [00:30:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:59] Speaker B: You know, I get it. That's very, like, from before. Right. [00:31:04] Speaker A: I get it. And I appreciate that. My family had a family home for many years, and I would go back to it, and I really appreciated it. [00:31:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:11] Speaker A: I. I don't know. I don't see one of my younger boy. I think he would appreciate it a little more. He's a little concerned that we're planning to move. But the other boy, he's so far away. [00:31:22] Speaker B: Yeah. He's like, wherever you guys are. [00:31:23] Speaker A: Like, whatever. But then there was something like, don't buy the house for your visitor, you know, for your guest room. [00:31:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:34] Speaker A: Who might visit one day or whatever. [00:31:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:31:36] Speaker A: You know, it's for you. [00:31:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:38] Speaker A: So do it for you. [00:31:39] Speaker B: That's. That's huge. I mean, because a lot of people are kind of locked in. Yeah, yeah, with good reason. But anyhow. [00:31:49] Speaker A: Yeah, good reason. And then there's also good reasons to change and to make it happen. You know, you asked sort of what would I suggest to people or advise people. And I think I'm kind of, you know this very well, Susan. My whole worst book ever program, I loved it. And the idea of failing and being okay with failure and having. And just trying. And I like to say the progress is the process and having a daily habit. Daily habit of writing, for example, or the reason we're doing this video today is because it's Thursday. I'm like, hey, Susan, we're working together today and it happens to be Thursday. I quote, unquote, have to do a video today. [00:32:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:28] Speaker A: So we sat down here and so if it weren't Thursday, we wouldn't be doing it. And if it weren't daily short. So I wrote every day for 2,808 days in a row. And that wouldn't have happened if I didn't have a system in place to make it happen. So if you're looking to move to Europe, well, put a 100 day calendar together and do take 10 minutes a day to take some action towards it. Or you want to become a writer, write 10 words every day for 100 days, whatever. [00:32:59] Speaker B: But to your point, you got to be willing to fail. And we're sitting above a canal that was once another place because they wanted to change the city. You can always go back, you can always repair or you can always. This is a failure. [00:33:20] Speaker A: It is. [00:33:21] Speaker B: But brought back new, better. Like, you know, they're really, when you look at it that way, fail. You know how they say first attempt in trying or first attempt in learning or everybody. [00:33:32] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that's good. I've never heard that one. [00:33:34] Speaker B: There's another first something else. I've heard different ones, but that one's the most known first attempt in learning. But it's. You have to be willing to fail, to experience, experiment, to risk. I think you and I do that a lot with things, you know, just spaghetti on the wall kind of thing. [00:33:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:54] Speaker B: But what also you're talking about is a commitment. Every Thursday. I need a video. [00:34:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:00] Speaker B: Because it's. I mean, I could sit here and call myself a writer, but what am I committing to? [00:34:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:06] Speaker B: What do I. What will I bring forward? [00:34:08] Speaker A: That's a good point. It's really good. [00:34:09] Speaker B: Make that real commitment. Because I think I'm calling myself a writer, but I'm reaching For author. [00:34:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:18] Speaker B: If I'm really honest, I like commitment. [00:34:21] Speaker A: That's an important word. I didn't think about that today, but you're right. And do you know I'm in season seven of Thursday Thunder. This is the seventh year. Every Thursday for six years. [00:34:32] Speaker B: I love that. [00:34:34] Speaker A: And do I care about my numbers? Do I make a million dollars every half hour? Do I? Do I? Whatever. No, I just do it. And here's. All right, we should close this down, because you just mentioned the highway turning into a canal, which is a massive deal and took the entire government decades to finish. [00:34:51] Speaker B: But it was originally here. [00:34:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:54] Speaker B: And then they. [00:34:54] Speaker A: They came back, and then they turned it back. So you always go back to do the thing that you were doing before. If that scary thing, which. [00:35:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:04] Speaker A: Didn't work out. Yeah. [00:35:07] Speaker B: So commitment. [00:35:09] Speaker A: Commitment. So commit. Make up your own thing. Don't make it too easy, but don't make it too hard. You don't have to write 20 pages every day. Make it easy and give yourself a deadline. Commit to. I like simple numbers. I like factors of 10. I like 10. I like 100. I like thousand. 100 days. Pretty long. It's more than three months. If that's too far, then do 10 days. 10 days. You're gonna write 10 minutes a day. [00:35:34] Speaker B: Right. Break it down to doable things. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:38] Speaker B: I moved to this platform so that I could start talking about writing. And I think another thing is accountability really works well for me. [00:35:46] Speaker A: Yeah, you're right. [00:35:47] Speaker B: So today I did that with you. I'm getting ready to do a post on my own substack saying a similar thing. [00:35:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:55] Speaker B: And then I think what I'll do is report on that platform, what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. [00:36:02] Speaker A: You know, accountability. You're right. You're really bringing up good points here, Susan. Accountability is really good because, for example, like I just said, I'm seven years. Right. [00:36:09] Speaker B: Right. [00:36:09] Speaker A: I also said in my podcast last week, I said something like, I want to lose 10 kilos in 10 months. [00:36:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Wow. [00:36:17] Speaker A: So that's not super fast. [00:36:18] Speaker B: No, but it's good. [00:36:20] Speaker A: But I said it. And by saying it publicly, I also think that you're putting yourself out there, even. Even if no one listens. [00:36:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:27] Speaker A: You hear it. [00:36:28] Speaker B: Right. And it's recorded for you, too. It's a proclamation. This is the commitment I have to myself. And often it is better to have other people witness it. But for me, accountability is key because I've been hiding that one for years. So who are you becoming next? [00:36:53] Speaker A: Yeah. All right. If the Dutch government can build a canal and then a highway and then a canal again. [00:36:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:00] Speaker A: Then you can move to Italy. Or you can write a book. You can call yourself a writer, and you can do a video every day for seven years. Every Thursday. [00:37:08] Speaker B: And also, we're sitting on the ramparts of a castle. [00:37:10] Speaker A: Yes. [00:37:11] Speaker B: So, like, we're on a castle, but. [00:37:13] Speaker A: Then again, we live in Europe. [00:37:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't know why I said that. [00:37:17] Speaker A: I know, but I love it. I know there's a castle down there. [00:37:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:20] Speaker A: All right, Susan. [00:37:21] Speaker B: All right. Thank you. [00:37:21] Speaker A: Thanks for being here. [00:37:22] Speaker B: Thanks. [00:37:22] Speaker A: Thanks for talking. It's been great. Happy New Year, everybody. And think about that commitment and accountability and failing and going for it. Because unless you're a cat. I do have some cat subscribers. I'm sure. But then we only have one life. And what are you gonna do with it? [00:37:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:40] Speaker A: All right, cool. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. Bye for now. Bye.