re355: What's Your "Yes, And." Story?

[00:00:01] Hey, good morning. [00:00:03] What's your yes and story? [00:00:09] Here's one of mine. [00:00:11] A little backstory is that if you haven't seen it, believe me, I will spam you to death with my speech called no, yes, but yes. And it got me to european championships, and I'm rehearsing my next vocal version of my speech. Now, some of the comments I've received, some of the feedback evaluations I've received on my. My existing speech was I could add a bit more personal story into the speech. And if I think of my most personal, dramatic, life altering yes and question or answer, here it comes. [00:00:52] We were in Zimbabwe, which I always love because it sounds so exotic. And it is. It's in southern Africa. And my then girlfriend, now wife, and I were traveling a six month trip through Africa. [00:01:10] Now, that sounds adventurous, but as you're about to hear, I didn't quite feel as adventurous as maybe she did. In fact, I think I wasn't living the yes and life, even though perhaps on the surface, it seemed that I was. [00:01:29] Remember, we're traveling through southern Africa. We're on the back of pickup trucks. One time we were on the back of a flatbed truck for an entire day because the bus broke down. Now, although that sounds adventurous, how can yes. And bring us to the next level of adventure. [00:01:50] Here's how we were in Chumanimani. And I swear it's a real place. It's up in the mountains. It's in the Chumanimani highlands outside of Harare, in Zimbabwe. Harare is the capital of Zimbabwe. And we went to a lodge, aptly named Heaven Lodge. And it was one of the most. [00:02:14] Wow. Just exotic, far out, away from anything in the real world experience that I have ever imagined. [00:02:25] It was an average place. It was probably from an outside perspective if you saw it in a brochure, although this place probably wouldn't be in a brochure. [00:02:37] You would think, oh, that's okay. But the difference was the connection we had as travelers there. [00:02:47] We went up to Chamoni Mani. We wanted to get out of the city, and we're in this little mountain town, and there's a lodge, and there's little a frame chalets, which makes it sound very exotic. It was so simple. [00:03:02] Remember, we had no money, and we're traveling on a shoestring of a shoestring. [00:03:07] So I remember specifically, there were a few women who were working there. One of them. Wow. I remember. Yeah, I remember their names. I think they were both named Rachel. I think one of them was from Oregon, United States. And one was from, I think it was Australia, although it might have been New Zealand. [00:03:29] And they were working behind the bar, behind the reception of the lodge. [00:03:36] Now, I thought this was amazing. I thought, you know, I was already feeling pretty good that I was, that my girlfriend and I were traveling through southern Africa. I already thought, wow, this is pretty adventurous. [00:03:54] And yet sometimes I felt like an impostor. [00:03:58] So it's November of the year, and for whatever reason, one of these two women was moving on. And they. So heaven Lodge needed a replacement to work behind the bar and behind reception at Heaven Lodge. [00:04:18] And they asked my. I think the woman first, like, asked my wife if she wanted to do it, just sort of casually. [00:04:30] And it was interesting. But guess what? My first reaction was. [00:04:37] No. [00:04:39] And why did I say no? And by the way, my girlfriend didn't necessarily say no. She was curious. I think she was more at the yes, but stage. And yet I was clearly in the no stage. So they asked, would you like to take over the job of, you know, at reception or behind the bar at a lodge in the mountains of Chumani, Mani highlands, outside of Harare in Zimbabwe, in southern Africa, on a different continent. [00:05:14] Am I building it up to be exotic and scary enough? So my initial reaction was, no, of course we can't do that. We have places to go and things to do. And here's the kicker. I am not the type of person who does that type of thing. [00:05:36] So the next day, my girlfriend and I were talking about it, and without saying these words, because those words come from Seth Godin, by the way. He says, are you the type of person who does that type of thing? And my answer at that point was, no. And so then Seth Godin, in one of his books, by the way, if you don't know Seth Godin, by the way, he's like a. I think he's like a psychological master mind. [00:06:04] He's awesome. And he says, how do you become the type of person who does those types of things? And of course, the answer is to do those types of things. So my girlfriend was open to the idea, and not only in the. So we went from no, my answer to yes, but her answer and the but was sort of details like, well, what do I do? What do we get paid? How long do you need us? [00:06:38] What are the job requirements? [00:06:41] All the, you know, but stuff. So, yes, I'm interested, but I have questions. So the next day, we talk a little bit more with, I think it was Rachel from Oregon who was leaving. And then Saskia talks with heaven Lodge. And I can't remember the detail exactly, but I'm pretty sure I was not there, which is probably a good thing, because not only did she say yes, but she said yes. [00:07:13] And. [00:07:15] And the. And was because it turned out they needed a second person. [00:07:24] So she went. Well, she. Remember, she was never at no. She was interested. I said no because I wasn't the type of person who did that type of thing. And yet she was open to the idea. So she had some yes, but I have questions. And then the next day she said yes. And we heard rumors that you need a second person. My boyfriend can do the job too. [00:07:54] So crucial element here is the idea of an action and a reaction. Also the idea of energy being moved from her to me. Again with the action and the reaction. Remember, I was at no, I'm not even sure I was at yes, but I think I was. I was scared. I was scared. I was scared not only of the whole idea of it, but I was scared of the unknown. I didn't know what it entailed. I wanted to continue on our plan, do our route down to South Africa and do what we had to do. But remember, we were traveling, the two of us. We had all the time in the world. This was the absolute moment to be a yes and person. There was nothing and no one holding us back. Not only that, but you could say, oh, I didn't have the money. Hello. They're offering us a job. So. Which turned out not to pay anything. [00:08:58] But we did get, I think we got like free board and food and lodging. Right? [00:09:05] So here's another yes and element. Remember, I said it was like the end of November. And not only did my girlfriend say yes, they soon asked us, can you stay through the Christmas and new Year holidays? And we did. [00:09:22] So this is my story of how I went from no to my girlfriend's yes, but to a yes and. And this is how I changed from a person who doesn't do those types of things to a person who does do those types of things through the process of no to yes, but to yes and. And that moment, those days we worked at heaven Lodge in Tumani Mani in the Tsumane money Highlands outside of Harare in Zimbabwe in southern Africa. For five weeks we worked through Christmas and New Year's. And it was one of the most transformational times in my entire life. Because we yes anded it. We went from no to yes, but to yes and. And it changed who we were. [00:10:25] It changed my relationship with my girlfriend. It changed my relationship with myself. It gave me more confidence. It gave me more boldness to say yes to adventure, to say yes to the unknown. [00:10:43] Wow. [00:10:45] I'm sometimes amazed at my own story because how did I become someone more adventurous? And you heard it first. It wasn't my doing. I basically followed my more adventurous girlfriend into a more adventurous life. So if you are not feeling as adventurous or you are in the stage of no or yes, but. But you'd like to get to yes and take my invitation to be more bold, to dare to say yes and. And be open to the idea of adventure, of the unknown, of daring, of going for it, whatever it may be. It doesn't need to be as exotic as my entire wacky, crazy southern Africa, Zimbabwe story. It might be, should I take this new job? It might be, should we buy this apartment? It might be, should we get a dog? Can we go to France for the weekend? It could be anything. [00:11:50] How can you transform who you are, your relationships with people, how you become more creative, how you become more adventurous, how you dare to answer the questions of can you do this? Will you do this? Should you do this? And of course, not all the answers are yes and. But in this particular case, yes and changed the trajectory of my life and raised the frequency of my adventure, of who I am. [00:12:23] There's my yes and story. [00:12:26] What's yours?